If?

If love does not survive death then love apparently has no rhyme or reason to it. This means that we are left to spend our days wandering aimlessly in a world of irrational creatures who insist on writing poetry to describe their illusions or who compose songs which cannot but help grate on the already frayed nerves of an unbalanced listener who must inwardly mourn the 'almost had it' mirage given off by that dirty 4 letter word until death personally delivers the only Truth such a love-sick creature will ever have namely, the decaying embodiment of the prized mirage. Now if it weren't for Jesus Christ, love would scare me to death before my time but thanks be to His glorious triumph over the cold clay that carpets His fair earth I can love beyond the limits of time and space. For the faithful in Christ love does not end in death but like the human mouth which says a sometimes painful goodbye to baby teeth in order to make room for mature teeth it too will undergo a transition before it begins to glisten and shine just prior to sinking it's pearly whites into the mirage-less eternal banquet of sacrificial love.

Feast of St. Bartholomew

If you must rebel, then rebel against your tendency to mediocrity. If you wish to chart a course that is all your own then learn to love sacrificially and your uniqueness will be so radical that many will not have the guts to imitate you. True rebellion is lonely if you seek the applause of waving hands that are tired out from indiscriminate salutations. Unless you enjoy run of the mill 'self-aggrandizement' with a hint of 'nobody' syndrome which comes from chasing cultural fads dictated by a fading dictator whose world acclaim has the shelf life of a carton of milk.
Be not swallowed up by the Anonymous Authority behind popularity because you may be surprised by his devilish grin. Your desire to 'belong' transcends the fleeting moments of a novelty-driven 'roller coaster' which while bringing you to the top of the world can only keep you there as long as you are willing to deplete your freedom in exchange for the husks upon which the pigs so gladly feed. Are you not worth much more then piggish fellowship or is it possible that you get a swelled head from basking in the very latest mire while others have only the hope of one day being clothed with such braggarts clothing. Are you the envy of all the earth really or sadly enough the just cause for heaven's scornful laughter. You gloat that your pockets are filled with gold while oblivious that such is merely heaven's pavement. Your chest is puffed out because your back is sore from being 'patted' by friends who see through rose-colored glasses as long as the table has plenty but if you only knew that heaven has no room for patted-backs and puffed-up chests, only exhausted hearts spent in 'being' a table of plenty in the service of God and man. St. Bartholomew, pray for us that we may have the courage to be what the world considers: heaven's lackeys.

The Cross versus the Bodhi Tree

He who would be enlightened need not sit with the Buddha under a tree for even though there be some enlightenment gained thereby full enlightenment comes only by being nailed with Christ to a tree which Sunday morning reveals to be the Tree of life bearing the fruit of eternal rest. Seek not to escape being united to the Suffering which Redeems for beneath such suffering there is a God/Man who loves and delights to bring order out of chaos: Jesus Christ the Lord. The only 'reincarnation' we should ponder is the one that 'RE'-fers us back to the 'INCARNATION' of Christ.

Bronze Serpent

Caught in the middle
wanted, yet not wanted.
Loved, but hated also.
Praised in addition to being detracted.
Suspended in the air by a love stronger then iron and more flammable then the finest wood.
It should have been me there in the middle.
Why wasn’t it me there in the middle?
When “I am lifted high I will draw all men unto Me.”

Exiled

‘Exiled’ and yet to speak in such terms is to further the perception of some that I suffer from some imbalance owing possibly to my upbringing or some other event in my maturation. Adherence to rules in the modern psyche is most often considered rigidity, an inflexibility that stems from a point of failed human development. It cannot be grasped, or at least with great difficulty, how one can seek to adhere to a set of rules, regulations especially ones claiming moral absolutes such as ‘Commandments’. Such adherence is a psychological hang up to the modern mind.
​When all other possibilities have been exhausted and only then is the virtue of obedience considered. This consideration is then employed by some in the hope of exposing the cause of obedience as stemming from some inner fear factor once again owing to some traumatic event in one’s human development. And then as the gnat is strained out there is the seldom-made acknowledgement that there is such a virtue as obedience which, ought to be commended but because it is so rare it is best off being relegated to the counselor’s couch. How cozy. Have mercy O Lord, have mercy.

Homily for the past solemnity of the Most Holy Trinity

The Incarnation is the hidden life of the Most Holy Trinity made visible. But the Incarnation must be understood in the inclusive sense whereby the whole life of the God-Man Jesus Christ is considered from Crib to Cross to Cosmic throne. In a special way, however the Cross highlights the dimension of the Incarnation known as Kenosis, which is the self-emptying love of Christ, the revelatory pinnacle of the inner life of the Holy Trinity. This is the visible, living manifestation in time and space of the Eternal ‘goings on’ operative in the life of the Holy Trinity. The kenosis of Christ on the Cross reveals the secret to the mutual Indwelling of the Persons of the Trinity namely, you make room for the other by making empty one’s self of self but in the life of the Holy Trinity this self-emptying is always met with a mutual self-emptying which only the Spirit of Divine Love can accomplish. Suffering such as crucifixion therefore is the only way kenosis can be expressed by Infinite Innocence in a world where sin only permits of a conditioned indwelling. Our Lord says, ‘whoever receives one whom I send receives me; and whoever receives Me receives Him who sent Me.’ Jn 13:20 Does not this attest to the Incarnation’s continuance and with it a kenosis or Trinitarian revelation on mutual indwelling in every time and space? The kenosis of Christ has been sealed by the Spirit with the gift of perpetuity. The Incarnation survives the Cross as the Resurrection attests for Christ rose from death in the flesh wherein lies our salvation. Hence the Incarnational kenosis continues by the working of the Holy Spirit in us who have become Christ’s mystical body. So it should come as no surprise how meaningful the words of our Lord really are, ‘If you would My disciple be you must pick up your cross daily and follow Me.’ It is only in hoisting that repugnant wood upon our oil of olay shoulders that we best express the kenosis of Christ and therefore the hidden life of the Trinity who is love. The victory or vindication for our Christian kenosis is begun to borrow from Bishop Sheen when we bring before the Priest our lives symbolized by bread and wine which both had to undergo a certain death for bread consists in the death of wheat and wine consists in the grapes being put through the wrath of the wine press. Our lives therefore, our kenosis is vindicated as Christ in His Priest offers us with, through and in Himself to the Father by the transforming power of the Holy Spirit. In the Transubstantiation of ordinary bread and wine into the Body and Blood of Christ we too are changed into his mystical body through our communion with Him. Symbolically speaking, we offer ourselves to God in the offertory as ordinary bread and wine that has undergone many deaths and much self-emptying and yet in return we receive vindication for the obedience of faith by being drawn into a higher life, the life known as eternal and supernatural. Our kenosis must reach the paten. Christ as Priest and Victim will do the rest to vindicate our offering of self. We give not in vain when we give ourselves to our daily cross for Christ consecrates us into a kingdom of priests for His God and Father, a holy nation, a people set apart for the mission of drawing, calling and summoning others to share in the Ecclesial kenosis, the Sacramental expression of the life of the Most Holy Trinity. If we do not accept our own call to kenosis by embracing our cross we will simply remain wheat in the field and grapes on the Vine without ever knowing the Life on the Paten or in the Chalice Divine. The Kenosis of Christ in time is but once because He is eternal and His self-offering bears that eternal imprint but for us who are finite beings who experience life sequentially we must practice kenosis again and again but we can rest assured that we receive infinitely more in Communion then we finitely gave in the offertory. I think this deserves a ‘Gloria in excelsis Deo.’

The Great Pianist from on High, plays so elegantly, that my soul cannot help but spread its wings and fly, in search of Him whose sound is so profound, that love must weep bitterly until He is found.

The Prize

You are beautiful in Your coming, O Finger of God,
Majestic and glorious in 'Your' descent.
You are all embracing, sin erasing,
The 'Prize' of life that no man should lose.
 
You fall upon us like a gentle mist,
And 'You' inflame the heart with comfort and warmth.
Every grace is 'Yours', not one escapes 'Your' grasp,
For 'Your' hand holds tight with authentic might.
 
You reveal 'Yourself' through revealing Truth,
And 'You' anoint with power to ennoble all.
You raise up the hand for to hold the heart so it may speak
The Truth the mind enfolds.
You lead the way upon this earth, and
You sprint the race at record pace,
'You' are the “Prize” before our eyes.
 
Shield us safely while the arrows fly,
As through the Trenches we pass on by,
For in 'Your' safety alone is how we wish to die.
 
Selflessly 'You' point to 'Him' from whom 'You' have come,
And without delay 'You' point further still,
To the 'One' made flesh who fulfilled 'His' will.
 
Now let our gaze to 'You' be turned for recognition is surely due,
For the selfless love 'You' show the world by pointing to the other 'Two'.
'You' declare the 'Father', 'You' proclaim the 'Son',
And in the Church all this 'You' have done.
 
So now equally sharing, what each of 'You' possess,
Is itself the Glory from which 'You Three' seek no rest, for after all
This is the race, that 'You' have always run, and indeed,
'It is the Best!'
 
Give me now the Grace, to run this race, and never run short on love,
For in this race, one must keep their pace, if they hope to finish on time,
And for myself this is my goal: to Cross the finish line,
Where all in all, You'll be my strength and forevermore my “Prize”.
I love You Holy Spirit. Amen.

Precious

Precious in the Eyes of the Lord is the Death of His Faithful: How precious for the redeemed is that moment when at last the veil of faith is lifted and they behold their true worth in the arms of satisfying Love. The arrows of doubt that sought to bring them down in this life will be replace by the certitude of faith's eternal reward – the Bridegroom of the soul.
​It must excite You so much my dear Jesus at the moment of death to be able to thrust Yourself so completely upon the children of grace. To know, Lord Jesus that You are the ecstasy of the human soul must make You impatient for the death of Your faithful ones. How must it make You feel knowing that You are everything and that in death Your faithful ones will come to experience in true undefiled purity the joy of the union which the soul was made to hunger for. You are that joy. You desire to give that joy to the world for You are Love Absolute.
​I long to be lost in that embrace My Beloved Jesus never more to emerge from the  inner chamber to my most worthy and exalted King. My pen seeks to scream Your praises with love beyond defect. You have no equal. You alone my dearest Jesus were found worthy to open the scroll which had been sealed with 7 seals, the same scroll  of which the book of Revelation speaks. This scroll contains my every need and desire and You have made Yourself worthy to open it by paying the demands of justice, which I could never pay by shedding Your delicious love-enhancing Blood. Your desire alone Lord to open the scroll with the seven seals is itself my crown of glory for to know that the God of all glory has desired Me and turned His glance toward me is enough to elate me for eternity.
​To hold Your hand and feel the grip of victory, sharing the joys and surprizes of Your resurrected wounds. Ah! This will be contentment. I know not if my eyes will be capable of beholding what You desire to share with Me.
​To be counted among the King's men: what honor, what joy, what supreme nobility, all at the price of Love, not mine but His. He will hold me and love me and at last I will know without interruption the ecstasy of being created, redeemed and sanctified by the Triune God. Amen

The weight of gravity bears heavily upon my feet as they strain forward through the narrow gate of Calvary’s Sanctuary to the Altar of the skull where time will curtsy as Timelessness dictates Heaven’s Treatise on Love: The Autobiography of the Word Made Flesh.
            The Fearful responsibility incumbent on me of making such an ascent to the height of the world through the valley of the shadow of death reminds me that my hands have been chosen to turn the pages of this treatise so that love may be unfurled in all its glory for all to see as death is written out of the plot of human destiny by the finger of God which in the mystery of time becomes my finger. And having arisen to this height to procure for my fellow man much more then the furniture of heaven I now descend from the Altar of the skull where revealed in a mosaic of blood dripping from every chapter of the eternal chalice is to be found the consummation of heavenly discourse wherein love invites all the illiterate to become learned in the sweet wisdom of a living library of love whose name is ‘Immolated’ and He will not abandon His post in the hands of the Priest as the Sacred Host until we say ‘I do’ or ‘Amen’.

Semper Virginis Mariae

O Chaste Curtain of Christ, your fiat led the Almighty to reveal Himself through your torn yet seamless virginity, which produces an awesome fragrance of purity to herald the Holy of Holies as He manifests Himself in the revered fabric formed within the inner sanctuary of your womb. O Chaste Curtain of Christ through which, the light of splendor shines lead us to the full radiance of His Divinity cloaked as it is in your fair flesh now stretched upon the Cross as the seamless Cloud of Heaven from which pour the rains of redemption.
            O Chaste Curtain of Christ, seamless were you in the pangs of birth yet torn at the foot of the Cross. Teach us the joy of Virginity’s abiding Truth by calling forth upon us from the Vault of Heaven the Divine Spirit whom your exalted womb calls Spouse.
            When the Holy Spirit got to the bottom of your Christ-Hungry heart He found your womb where He was exceptionally pleased to incarnate the Son within the walls of your Temple like womb precisely on account of the welcome He received in your ‘Holy of Holies’ like heart.

The Sunshine of His Love

He spent his younger days hiding from the Sun's light for fear that his peers would ridicule him if his face reflected its light in such a way that revealed what they had hidden beneath the rocks in their souls. He knew that the Sun made him happy but he also knew that others had many dark secrets with which they were not willing to part; being more eager to die then yield such darkness. So if he were to be a friend and more importantly to gain a friend he had to tippy-toe through the fields at night wheresafe from the Sun or at least as he thought he could make friends with the sons and daughters of the night. Such security was his and friendship was as plentiful as it was empty. His soul grew progressively more shallow on account of the restrictions placed upon it by those who hating the Truth were unwilling to give more then what was their surplus.                                                                                              
But even in the midst of this dark depravity which is home to many, he witnessed in the thick of his fear an unending pursuer – the Sun's light. Though the Sun was not there itself in this dreadful darkness its light found a way of penetrating the night and when he recognized how he had suppressed the True happiness which this light had brought him he quickly cursed the darkness with the same disgust as did his so called friends who cursed him as he became an instrument by which they were forced to reflect upon their own darkness.

Omnipotens Deus

The all-powerful God, for whom nothing is impossible has chosen to be super-vulnerable by giving us the gift of freedom and now as a helpless little child He pleads with us so that we would show Him mercy. He has willed for love’s sake to subject Himself to freedom’s potential cruelty. He has chosen to be weak and dependant such that we may exercise mercy. What love must seize and must have seized our God that he would give humanity such a gift of freedom knowing full well that it would raise up its heal against Him so often and in such varied ways. May we never neglect His self-willed vulnerability with our indifference and out right coldness for in our own day the vulnerability of the all-powerful God which was experienced by Him in the stable at Bethlehem is continued and perpetuated in the Tabernacle as He remains among us so helpless under the appearances of ordinary Bread and Wine, an appearance so humble that His Sovereignty is considered threatened in the mindset of some who reckon it beyond Omnipotence to suffer such humiliation and therefore incapable of being truly present in the Eucharist except in symbol alone. This, however, is a false belief about the Power of God. The Power of God is not beyond such an accomplishment. Such a feat of humble vulnerability sweats not the Omnipotence of God. The real question that should occupy our reflection is whether or not we are capable of responding with mercy to the All-Powerful God who has become so vulnerable before us, yes He who stripped Himself of all riches so as to be present to us in our poverty? It is about time that we were rich in our response.

Until death do us part is only the start

My ever growing awareness of my mortality is giving birth within me to a more profound sense of the fact that I am borrowed breath, willed into existence not of my own will. I am because He said so and He spoke not in vain. The mystery of my existence is a mystery not without its admirer and my inevitable death serves to remind me of this. I have been created not for dust and ashes but for a crown and robes which wither not amidst the suns heat nor the oceans fury for I have been begotten by Love and this Love knows my name. My first breath and my last will have had this in common, both will have been joyfully willed by Him alone for whom I have been created.
​I am entirely His. He willed it so. I belong nowhere else save for in His embrace. It was Him alone who desired me and though others may love me they merely love the work of His hands but He loved me into existence and into the possibility of being loved. It was Him who conceived the very thought of me and this not simply in His Divine Mind but also in His Sacred Heart but what pleases me so greatly as I reflect upon this is that He was the first to be pleased with what He thought and made good on it by an irrevocable act of His will. The very Triune God who has no beginning or end created me in loving freedom without any reservations.
​Was it by chance that the thought of me entered the Mind and Heart of God? No! The thought of me arose not by chance but by Romance. It pleased God to create me. I had absolutely no say in it. I had no way of influencing His decision. I couldn't even say, 'You thought about me, now You owe it to me to create me.' My existence is a complete expression of the freedom of His love. My God, I am forever indebted to You and yet the only debt You ask me to pay is that of loving You freely in return. You created me not simply to exist but so that You may love me. Reflection upon my coming death  reminds me of this. These thoughts also inspire within me the knowledge that I have never been so well loved or with such constancy as I have been by You. You are my Secret Admirer and with tears in my eyes I thank You, “Father, Son and Holy Spirit.”
​How I wish my words could possibly do justice to the profound realization that the knowledge of Your love fills me with at this moment regarding my existence. You, O Sovereign Lord, had no template to look at in creating me save for the Image of Your Incarnate Son. I am fully the result of Love's creative-genius. I have been created solely for You, help me now to begin living as such.

My Beloved Jesus how I wish You would drink the fruit of the Vine again already and thereby grant my hearts desires. I am growing old before my time thinking about You and the impact Your dawning day will have upon my restless mind. I wish to think about You and yet I am teased by the thought of You for as of yet I am a mixture of wheat and weeds and I reckon that part of my cross will be characterized by living with this mixture throughout the remainder of my days. Grant to me dearest Lord humility to accept the reality of my fallen human nature and the strength of will to act upon the God-given desire that You have given me for Your kingdom. Amen. (432)

A prayer that I pray before the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass

Father Most Mystical, You are clothed in praises too lofty for my tongue to utter and yet You have chosen me to stand before You and to speak to You on behalf of Your children, my  brothers and sisters through Holy Baptism. Grant to me Almighty Father a heart that is ever prostrate in loving confidence before You and a mind that is truly enlightened and dazzled by the thought of You so much so that when I stand where only those may stand who have been beckoned forth by You they may know that You are Sanctus, Sanctus, Sanctus and that it brings You great pleasure to rip the heavens asunder so as to pour forth Your Holy Spirit upon them whom You continue to redeem through the Perfect Sacrifice of Your Son, the Spotless Lamb upon whom we are fed unto eternal life and in whose person I stand in the breach for the sake of Your little ones. Father, I beg of You that it may never be said of me, 'he saved others but could not save himself.' For to be separated from the Communion that is Yours with the Son in the Holy Spirit would be a perpetual heart-attack for I acknowledge amidst my sinfulness even my willful sins that my heart is hungry for You alone and that if I were to be separated from You for all eternity then I would honestly have to say that I never experienced any happiness at all because to be happy to me is to be happy in full and You allowed me by Your grace in this life to know that my heart was hungry for a love, Your love, that this world was too feeble to give. As the Psalmist says, 'Of You my heart has spoken: Seek His face.' Father all-powerful God protect me and grant me a love for You that resembles the fly that being so drawn by the light of the candle becomes consumed in it's flame without any hesitation for it's own life on account of the most-pleasing nature of the lights brilliance. I ask this through Jesus Christ, Your Son, our Lord, in whose Spirit I now ascend the steps of the Altar so as to renew the Sacrifice of our Redemption. Amen. (409)

The cry of the celibate's heart

O Fire of Chastity, O Cincture of Grace,
Gird my erring flesh with the Innocence of His Most Chaste Embrace,
So that loving all for love of Him my selfish love may be erased .

Ex Nihilo

God created 'something' out of 'nothing' and then entered into it so as to give it 'everything' with 'nothing' in return for Himself. Now, isn't that 'something' worth talking about? In fact isn't it "Everything?"

You can't always follow your heart nor your mind, Alleluia!

"He's mad", cries the human heart as it clasps hands with the human mind in a rare occasion of agreement. By way of introduction, the "He" in question is Jesus Christ who just a moment ago breathed His last while upon the Cross. The subject of their agreement, that is the one between heart and mind, pertains to the 'returns' on the 'investment' made by such a young Man. Didn't anyone ever tell Him that 'Death is final', 'Contextualize Your dream' and 'Enjoy life on earth a bit' after all this is the planet your living on?
"He gave it all, His love that is and what does He have to show for it now save for a pale lifeless body hanging like a dirty sock hung over the edge of a hamper?"
'The Angel said to the women, 'why do you look for the living among the dead, He is not here, He has Risen!'
By way of conclusion, its really too bad that some don't stick around to hear how the story ends. For some, 'you have to be there to believe it' while for others 'you have to believe it in order to truly be there'. So, Christ's supposed madness turned to gladness despite the consensus of heart and mind, will yours? Dream Big, remembering that Christ is your context.

Why did you bring us out into this desert?

Hunger not for the joys of slavery in the time of desolation because the reward of perseverance is found in the timelessness of freedom's consolation.

Voce

The Voice of the Prophet is seldom heard with welcome and yet historians must painfully record the Truth of what they had to say.

Why?

Despised in the eyes of His Father was He,
blacklisted and abandoned, yet He suffered all of this for love of me.
The nails, the thorns, the shortness of breath,
the pointing of fingers, yet these did not bring His death.
His Father ignored Him when at last He cried out.
This wretched Abandonment was the death-dealing clout.
And yet am I here in this season of sin,
neglectful of the hell that Divine Love felt within.
My God, my God, why have I abandoned You?

Sometimes

Sometimes, if not many times a person will have to go without, before they discover what's within.