The Sunshine of His Love

He spent his younger days hiding from the Sun's light for fear that his peers would ridicule him if his face reflected its light in such a way that revealed what they had hidden beneath the rocks in their souls. He knew that the Sun made him happy but he also knew that others had many dark secrets with which they were not willing to part; being more eager to die then yield such darkness. So if he were to be a friend and more importantly to gain a friend he had to tippy-toe through the fields at night wheresafe from the Sun or at least as he thought he could make friends with the sons and daughters of the night. Such security was his and friendship was as plentiful as it was empty. His soul grew progressively more shallow on account of the restrictions placed upon it by those who hating the Truth were unwilling to give more then what was their surplus.                                                                                              
But even in the midst of this dark depravity which is home to many, he witnessed in the thick of his fear an unending pursuer – the Sun's light. Though the Sun was not there itself in this dreadful darkness its light found a way of penetrating the night and when he recognized how he had suppressed the True happiness which this light had brought him he quickly cursed the darkness with the same disgust as did his so called friends who cursed him as he became an instrument by which they were forced to reflect upon their own darkness.

Omnipotens Deus

The all-powerful God, for whom nothing is impossible has chosen to be super-vulnerable by giving us the gift of freedom and now as a helpless little child He pleads with us so that we would show Him mercy. He has willed for love’s sake to subject Himself to freedom’s potential cruelty. He has chosen to be weak and dependant such that we may exercise mercy. What love must seize and must have seized our God that he would give humanity such a gift of freedom knowing full well that it would raise up its heal against Him so often and in such varied ways. May we never neglect His self-willed vulnerability with our indifference and out right coldness for in our own day the vulnerability of the all-powerful God which was experienced by Him in the stable at Bethlehem is continued and perpetuated in the Tabernacle as He remains among us so helpless under the appearances of ordinary Bread and Wine, an appearance so humble that His Sovereignty is considered threatened in the mindset of some who reckon it beyond Omnipotence to suffer such humiliation and therefore incapable of being truly present in the Eucharist except in symbol alone. This, however, is a false belief about the Power of God. The Power of God is not beyond such an accomplishment. Such a feat of humble vulnerability sweats not the Omnipotence of God. The real question that should occupy our reflection is whether or not we are capable of responding with mercy to the All-Powerful God who has become so vulnerable before us, yes He who stripped Himself of all riches so as to be present to us in our poverty? It is about time that we were rich in our response.

Until death do us part is only the start

My ever growing awareness of my mortality is giving birth within me to a more profound sense of the fact that I am borrowed breath, willed into existence not of my own will. I am because He said so and He spoke not in vain. The mystery of my existence is a mystery not without its admirer and my inevitable death serves to remind me of this. I have been created not for dust and ashes but for a crown and robes which wither not amidst the suns heat nor the oceans fury for I have been begotten by Love and this Love knows my name. My first breath and my last will have had this in common, both will have been joyfully willed by Him alone for whom I have been created.
​I am entirely His. He willed it so. I belong nowhere else save for in His embrace. It was Him alone who desired me and though others may love me they merely love the work of His hands but He loved me into existence and into the possibility of being loved. It was Him who conceived the very thought of me and this not simply in His Divine Mind but also in His Sacred Heart but what pleases me so greatly as I reflect upon this is that He was the first to be pleased with what He thought and made good on it by an irrevocable act of His will. The very Triune God who has no beginning or end created me in loving freedom without any reservations.
​Was it by chance that the thought of me entered the Mind and Heart of God? No! The thought of me arose not by chance but by Romance. It pleased God to create me. I had absolutely no say in it. I had no way of influencing His decision. I couldn't even say, 'You thought about me, now You owe it to me to create me.' My existence is a complete expression of the freedom of His love. My God, I am forever indebted to You and yet the only debt You ask me to pay is that of loving You freely in return. You created me not simply to exist but so that You may love me. Reflection upon my coming death  reminds me of this. These thoughts also inspire within me the knowledge that I have never been so well loved or with such constancy as I have been by You. You are my Secret Admirer and with tears in my eyes I thank You, “Father, Son and Holy Spirit.”
​How I wish my words could possibly do justice to the profound realization that the knowledge of Your love fills me with at this moment regarding my existence. You, O Sovereign Lord, had no template to look at in creating me save for the Image of Your Incarnate Son. I am fully the result of Love's creative-genius. I have been created solely for You, help me now to begin living as such.

My Beloved Jesus how I wish You would drink the fruit of the Vine again already and thereby grant my hearts desires. I am growing old before my time thinking about You and the impact Your dawning day will have upon my restless mind. I wish to think about You and yet I am teased by the thought of You for as of yet I am a mixture of wheat and weeds and I reckon that part of my cross will be characterized by living with this mixture throughout the remainder of my days. Grant to me dearest Lord humility to accept the reality of my fallen human nature and the strength of will to act upon the God-given desire that You have given me for Your kingdom. Amen. (432)

A prayer that I pray before the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass

Father Most Mystical, You are clothed in praises too lofty for my tongue to utter and yet You have chosen me to stand before You and to speak to You on behalf of Your children, my  brothers and sisters through Holy Baptism. Grant to me Almighty Father a heart that is ever prostrate in loving confidence before You and a mind that is truly enlightened and dazzled by the thought of You so much so that when I stand where only those may stand who have been beckoned forth by You they may know that You are Sanctus, Sanctus, Sanctus and that it brings You great pleasure to rip the heavens asunder so as to pour forth Your Holy Spirit upon them whom You continue to redeem through the Perfect Sacrifice of Your Son, the Spotless Lamb upon whom we are fed unto eternal life and in whose person I stand in the breach for the sake of Your little ones. Father, I beg of You that it may never be said of me, 'he saved others but could not save himself.' For to be separated from the Communion that is Yours with the Son in the Holy Spirit would be a perpetual heart-attack for I acknowledge amidst my sinfulness even my willful sins that my heart is hungry for You alone and that if I were to be separated from You for all eternity then I would honestly have to say that I never experienced any happiness at all because to be happy to me is to be happy in full and You allowed me by Your grace in this life to know that my heart was hungry for a love, Your love, that this world was too feeble to give. As the Psalmist says, 'Of You my heart has spoken: Seek His face.' Father all-powerful God protect me and grant me a love for You that resembles the fly that being so drawn by the light of the candle becomes consumed in it's flame without any hesitation for it's own life on account of the most-pleasing nature of the lights brilliance. I ask this through Jesus Christ, Your Son, our Lord, in whose Spirit I now ascend the steps of the Altar so as to renew the Sacrifice of our Redemption. Amen. (409)

The cry of the celibate's heart

O Fire of Chastity, O Cincture of Grace,
Gird my erring flesh with the Innocence of His Most Chaste Embrace,
So that loving all for love of Him my selfish love may be erased .