The Tree

The Tree of Life with its bleeding branches, has cast its shadow o'er the whole world dispelling the death the devil had sown, bringing Light to all places where only darkness had been known. Its roots are in eternity, its canopy in the sky, but its Victim is its fruitfulness, upon which we must rely, for it contains the secret over death, and only Love can answer Why? “Taste and See that the Lord is good.”

Drive me further

Infect me, Lord with a maddening love for You. My heart is weeping from feasting upon all that is not You. Drive me further from myself, so that I may live with You and then with firm assurance the life I live will surely be True. Release me not, because I will never be free to go for You have created me hungry for a love I need to know.

Concupiscence

 I seek to blossom like a flower in the noonday sun, but as I do my petals are pricked by the thorns in my flesh, and so I accuse the Sun for causing me pain, when the pain I feel is rooted in my very own nature.

Come, take a peek

Clothed in Thanksgiving is the 'Bread' Everliving and no nobler crown doth such a King seek then to have those who are hungry to come take a peek. For with Him is gladness, friendship and cheer, for all those that visit and are weighed down by fear. His gentle embrace no heart will forget because its like Sacred Silence when your caught in its net which entangles the soul until it is 'Wet' as a ritual reminder of the day you both met. He offers you victory, he offers you love in the form of the One who came down from up above. He stands now to greet you and welcome you home, for each time that you visit Him, your heart will be filled to the brim.

He took His seat

In a field of wheat, He took His seat as the multitudes assembled and when they hungered for His love He gave them some to eat. He picked the kernels quietly so as to drop them to the ground for never do they taste as sweet as when from death new life they greet. This field of wheat intensely grew to satiate each heart, for every kernel picked by Christ obediently did its part. And now that life has conquered death as flour with yeast does rise, so too my friends, we must choose the Eucharist upon which to rest our eyes.

Occupying the Skies

Like an eagle occupying the skies with a splendour shared with none save for the sun, Christ proclaims: I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life and when I am lifted up from the earth I will draw all men to me.

O Love worthy of my self-abdication

O Love, worthy of my self-abdication, slow am I to give and weak am I at giving fully; grant me this treasured grace which I seek of Thee now of loving You compassionately. In Your mercy shower  upon me the delightful grief that precedes the thoughts and actions of Your saintly adorers thereby preserving them from the selfishness that inflicts grief upon the Most Benevolent of Lovers. Often I have grieved Thee being wilfully neglectful of the claims Thy unmerited clemency and charity rightly have upon my very existence and so confronted with this hazardous portfolio of self I beg Thee to accomplish within me a gratitude so strong and fresh that it would accompany my every thought, word and deed as if fulfilling the Providential role of those Blessed Angels of guidance who gleefully behold unceasingly Your all-loving face such that the weight of so many reminders of love freely bestowed would stunt in their conceptual tracks any germination of the seeds of infidelity and betrayal. Be pleased O Pleasant Heart of Love to bleed me free from a love of self that honours not the duty to love on bended knee the Will that was pleased so unselfishly to honour me even at great pains to Self. Teach me O Beautiful Beast of Burden the justice that renders its due in cruciform love. Love’s Strength and Longevity, persuade my drifting loyalty that “stolen water” is not in fact “sweeter” but rancid and stagnant causing a thirst that only blisters the tongue with selfish delight. Grant that I may not grieve nor sully the Innocence with which You love me born as it is out of the Divine Child’s playfully excitable Heart.

WE

We listen, we ignore, we bump heads, we explore,
we earn, we spend, we gather, we’d rather,
we read, we need, we want, we taunt,
we lead, we follow, we abstain, we swallow,
we dress, we dream, we watch, we scream,
we visit, we hide, we study, we side,
we invent, we prevent, we plant, we uproot,
we cook, we shower, we eat, we cower,
we feed, we shop, we heed, we stop,
we write, we compose, we sing, we repose,
we imagine, we peek, we wonder, we sneak,
we blush, we rush, we trip, we slip,
we stand, we sit, we chew, we spit,
we greet, we frown, we drift, we drown,
we lose, we lie, we question, we sigh.
Oh how we do sigh!!!

The Destruction of the Temple

The unwelcome watchman, the imprisoned prophet, the ruin ready hearers hiding behind their collaborative smiles as a state of emergency invisibly descends cloaking their tomorrow with today’s solemn rejections. As they are carried off a slight echo can be heard… "the Temple of the Lord, the Temple of the Lord, the Temple of the Lord."

unfurled

Charting a well worn course through childhood dreams of… "maybe someday”,
living for a moment a selfie cannot procure or imagine, seeking a eureka to make my own while others stare and applaud, growing with the years accompanied by all these hand me down kind of fears, hoping to endure a gift that far outreaches my covetous grasp, running from a memory that I’ll never outlive. Dying slowly yet quickly like autumn leaves in gale force winds that gently let go ending up where only the letting go knows where.

We

We cry, we crawl, we stumble, we walk,
we take, we talk, we bite, we fight,
we give, we learn, we play, we betray,
we work, we love, we regret, we beget,
we retrace our steps,
we repeat our past,
we linger in desolation and wonder: how long will it last,
we search, we despair, we give up, we don’t care,
we know, we see, we see not what we know and we know not what we see,
we get sick, we get scared, we pray, we die.
We hope in the end that our hope is not the end.

O Eternal Word, Your gift for the life of the world is radiantly chaste, filled with silent splendour and hidden grace, grant us the eyes to behold in the Mass what is hidden from the wise and the learned so that as we approach our capacity to cherish Your sacramental sweetness may be our tongue’s sole delight.

A prayer

Eternal Word, whose flesh we now adore in the mystery of the Mass teach us by our sacramental sharing how to take up daily our cross and witness to Your Divine Presence here such that others are won over to join us in act of gratitude commanded by You not so much for Your sake as it is for our growth in undying love.

Witnessing in Blood

O God, You are the Supreme Joy and the ecstatic delight of those precious brothers and sisters whose witness through blood has gained for us the confidence that those who share in Christ the sorrows of Your will shall attain to the highest realms of merit that Your Love visits upon the fidelity born of victimhood.

Gracious Father, loyal and forgiving, You who have willed to wed chosen souls to the power and Person of Your Son for the spread of the Holy Gospel and the Sacramental manifestation of the Sacrifice of the Cross, grant to those Anointed Ones of Your choosing the grace of boredom as regards the profane and unceasing fervour in the service of those realities before which the Angels tippy toe out of reverence.

Creator God, who has willed to be seen in the exquisite beauty and order of a universe teeming with mystery, marvel and wonders galore, grant that the creatures who bear Your image and likeness may manifest in their manner of living that same beauty and order that the material world exemplifies so that amongst themselves man may give his fellow man a living witness of the praises that earth would give had it but a tongue with which to sing.

Worship is a command because love must learn Truth through the beauty of obedience which is none other than the freedom to say in response to Love’s offer: I do, I will, always.

God is Beggar

Imagine the Beggar-God pleading for our hearts. Panting as if His desire was within our grasp alone to satisfy. Tearfully clutching at our legs refusing to be passed off without a morsel of love even as if it were a bone thrown to a dog to appease its wining.

Shoulder My cross, let us share the burden together. When its weight is too much let us fall at the same time and when I rise you just take My hand and as one we shall stand.
When they nail your hand to the cross I will hold your heart and when they nail mine you can hold mine and together we will ascend through the clouds to the throne of love where sacrifice will give birth to uninterrupted Communion. But first, shoulder My Cross and let us share the burden together. I want it to be you sharing that burden, no one else but you. Don’t you know that I love you. Why else do I ask this of you? Shoulder My desire and discover yours sated. In unison we shall walk bearing the burden of a common love, Mine for you and yours for me. Let us walk through this world together carrying one and the same burden, the burden of one another’s love. Let the common burden of the Cross bring us together. Let the Cross be our nuptial bond. I beg you for relief, for a moments reprieve. I look for a willing hand to hold what I alone cannot. This alone is My limit. I cannot handle what must be held by two, between two for one timeless moment. By two, between two for one sweet timeless moment which eternity will never forget.

Snowmound

My Mom and the Hoopsi Blue Colorado that I have dedicated to Our Lady

Hoopsi Blue Colorado Spruce

Behold a Sacred Host towering over the hearts of men in royal attire where silence is the language of love and communion the ecstasy of the soul. A flaming Chalice burning with the light of love has purified my way through a darkened vineyard. Now I can see what hope had hidden beneath the fruit of the vine where faith is fully realized in the sweet taste of love that is Truth.

Love was slain in the process of unfettering truth. But the light of heaven shone through the signs of slaughter revealing the undeniable victory of love as the one truth that can never really be fettered.

A novena of love

A novena of love prayed upon knees of faith as tears of hope flood my cheeks with the warmth of the Word made flesh, who’s glory I now receive in the mysterious novena of love; the one prayer I so happily wish to repeat.

Without first having

None of us can properly kneel in service of our brothers and sisters without first having knelt in adoration of Him whose love illumines the way to genuine service of both friend and foe. To kneel before a brother without due regard for the Truth of our brother's highest calling is to rewrite the Gospel, an authority however none of us possesses.

When indifference comes home

When lighting strikes with Aryan might and flags of hate unfurl over German skies life as we know it descends into the madness of a mein kampf which in the face of our indifference proves to be our struggle as well. When our indifference allows another to hail victory at the expense of six million stars it won’t be long before we find a plethora of bleeding crosses littering the landscape of our own backyards.

Consecration in the Hands of the Consecrated One

My Jesus, Lord, I follow where holy faith leads. It leads to where my intellect cries “how?” It leads to where my senses say “never”, “impossible.” And yet I follow where holy faith leads because it leads me to You? And so here I am kneeling before You, adoring You, loving You, praising and thanking You while my proud intellect learns to submit to sacred silence as the mystery of faith seeks to enlarge its territory within my heart.

I consecrate my proud intellect to Your Divine Presence here in the Eucharist where sharing in the burden of Your love I hope to unlearn all those things which would have me doubt a Presence so Real, so True, so Substantial.

Your Presence here, is the abiding testimony of Your desire to reconcile through Your sacrificial victimhood the human will with the divine will. To honor Your Divine Presence I now consecrate to Your reconciling victimhood my weak will with its inclination toward love of self. The consecration of my will I make in the hope of knowing fully someday the peace of reclining upon Your bosom just as You are eternally leaning upon Your Father’s bosom.                                  
Finally, I consecrate my selfish heart to Your “pure, holy, and spotless” victimhood here Present in the sacramental mystery of the Word made flesh. Your silent abiding is the Altar upon which all love is purified and made ready for Trinitarian Communion the joyful vision of which I beg Your merciful indulgence in my soul’s regard. Amen

Why Christ is irrelevant in the modern world?

The modern world apparently seems to deny guilt. It seems to confuse guilt and sin with sickness having no moral implications. If sin is only sickness that can easily be explained away in sociological, psychological and statistical terms then it is no wonder why Christ's relevance in the modern world has taken a nose dive. Christ is irrelevant therefore in a world where there are no sinners only the infirm. The Christ who seems to be relevant to the infirm is the sociological Christ whose relevance waxes and wanes in proportion to His ability to establish the earthly kingdom. If Christ has become irrelevant in the modern world it is because we have made Him so through trivializing sin, guilt and individual moral responsibility. If Christ has become irrelevant it is because we have relativized truth either directly through preaching or indirectly through ambiguity in word and deed regarding issues pertaining to Truth. Christ becomes irrelevant to the extent that we divorce His Victimhood from His Priesthood. If Christ has become irrelevant in the modern world it is because we have denied the real implications of the Incarnation(God becoming man) and the firm possibility of knowing the 'real Christ' whom the modern world has convinced itself is to be distinguished from the Christ dressed up by later doctrinal formulations of Scripture and Tradition. The modern world (including many in the Church) in many cases denies the abiding power of Pentecost because it is continually seduced by the prospects of unmasking and excavating the "real historical Jesus" thereby denying the capacity and ability of the Catholic Faith to transmit the truth of Jesus. The modern mind almost searches for the 'Real' Jesus as if He were buried beneath the rubble of the New Testament account of Him.
Christ is made irrelevant to the degree that we downplay the gift and virtue of reverence in the context of the Church and the Holy Mass. Reverence in the Church and especially during Mass can inspire faith in Christ's relevance. Lack of reverence inspires ambiguity regarding Christ's relevance. Irreverence inspires eyes for everything else but a relevant Christ.

A Premature 'I do"

In search of love I donned his ring; slowly saddened by what it did bring. It didn't bring love for love was not in the ring but in the will and he had not the will nor I the discipline to heed love's call to discern the Truth for love's sake.

We can expose God's love to spittle

Crucified love is what truly challenges us. It challenges our pride because we see in it no room for advancing our own cause because we are loved despite ourselves. We are helpless to control the one thing that counts - God's love. We can expose God's love to spittle, lips blistered with betrayal, thorns, and finally death but we cannot suppress it. The truth is - none of us can endear ourselves to God, which means that we cannot make God need us and so to stand in God's Presence means we must get off our high horse because He sees what we are without it.

I tried every trick in the book to make Him hate me and in the end He loved me no less. Faced with this love I realized that the power of His love is beyond mine to control or manipulate.

If You choose, You can make me well

Have anger and resentment made sterile my hope? Why is darkness so dark? I see not even a flicker of light. How long will this pilgrimage of uncertainty, injustice and obscurity last? I know not the contours of this mission. How is hope to prevail, walking blindfolded through a busy city street? Is hope sufficient in dark days such as these? Must hope be the only light in a scapegoats journey to the edge of the cliff? When one must ponder uncertain, whether they are the victim or not, proves to be a victimhood well declared. Where does the scapegoat find time for forgiveness? Will justice remove the scapegoats haunting memories before they become etched in a heart of stone? Welcoming the scapegoat back into the fold may be easy but returning as the scapegoat is not as easy for its a lot harder not recognizing the fingerprints left on your head by your comrades. Knowing not the source of one's suffering is suffering enough. How long must "knowing not" be the only thing of which I am certain? Teach me forgiveness O Lord lest I harden like mud on a sunny day. Clay in the hands of the potter am I. Forgive me Lord for fighting angrily against Your loving design. Your silence or my perception of Your silence has resulted in me trusting less in Your plan mostly because I recognize not the contours of the path before me. Adrift where the sea will freely take me. Need I know where?

I live in the hope of a splendid day when quiet sunlight will brighten my imaginative hunger with concrete encounter. Many lesser days occupy and interrupt my capacity to yearn for what is best. Darkness appears to be the only light given me in these moments. Faith and hope are the wings that bear me up while love seems to have hidden Its face. Angered at love for what is not love's fault at all but my pride grows impatient in the absence of direction. Where am I to rest? Should I rest or carry on? All questions seem to be without answer and yet the answer Himself beholds all things clear while I in darkness bump and stumble along a path that leads where only God for certain knows. Grant me the grace to persevere O Answer Most Sublime.

A prayer before Our Eucharistic Lord

In the Spirit's gift of unconquerable faith I fall to my knees in recognition of the real presence of the sacrificial Victim by whose death You've willed to reconcile us to Yourself. I bow before His substantial Presence in gratitude for His reconciling Victimhood, a Victimhood that abides shrouded in silence which I hope to enthrone with my praises, the defects of which I ask Your pardon.
Jesus, Lord, You are the Word made flesh at whose invitation I find myself kneeling in adoration in the hope of beholding even a glimpse of Your glory as You silently, patiently, and lovingly 'tabernacle' among us. Lure me into Your bosom where beloved disciples are made and nourish me thoroughly upon the love that has been lifted up where heaven and earth unite in the mystery of love to the end, the very mystery I now seek to penetrate with eyes of faith, eyes often clouded by the blindness of sin. Forgive me, hold me, love me. I beg You to 'tabernacle' in my heart so that I may discover the joy of being immolated in imitation of Your reconciling victimhood.

But perhaps

The creative will of God could have produced an act of creation so sublime and dignified that it would win Him endless praise from His other already existing creatures but instead He chose to create you but perhaps you are this act of creation whose life is deemed capable of winning for God the sublime praise of His other creatures. "Cast out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch."

"It is the Lord"

He is Present in the Tabernacle for the Sick. The Eucharist was first reserved in Tabernacles for the sake of the sick who could not be present for the Holy Mass. Some will argue as others already have that there is no need to spend time before the "Reserved" Sacrament and for that matter Our Lord never intended such. This practice is simply the result of circumstances affecting the early Christian community. Whatever the circumstances be, whatever the origins of the Most Blessed Sacrament being 'reserved' in Tabernacles - the heart of a beloved disciple cannot help but say, "It is the Lord", and the person truly in touch with their baptismal grace will not be able to refrain from following St. Peter's lead in diving into the mystery before him so as to encounter the Risen Lord from whom flow the words, "Do you love Me, more then all these?" Theologians can tackle all manner of questions regarding the reservation of the Most Blessed Sacrament in Tabernacles and the origins of such practice but this will never offset the reality that "It is the Lord" there in the Tabernacle.

Reconciling Victimhood

In Eucharistic Prayer III, the Priest entreats the Heavenly Father to “recognize” in “the oblation of the Church” present on the Altar under the appearance of Bread and Wine - “the sacrificial Victim by whose death” He has “reconciled us to Himself.” If we as Roman Catholics entreat the Eternal Father to “recognize” in what appears to be simple Bread and Wine upon the Altar His very own Son then who are we not to “recognize” in the Eucharist the same sacrificial Victim by whose death the Father has reconciled us to Himself? Does this act of “recognizing” cease with the final blessing of the Holy Mass or are we called to continue “recognizing” the Presence of this sacrificial Victim in the Tabernacle where His Presence is an abiding, substantial Presence? St. John in chapter 1 verse 14 of his Gospel says, “And the Word became flesh and dwelt (Tabernacled) among us and we beheld His glory.” By taking time to prayerfully “recognize” the Presence of Christ in the Tabernacle we are in fact proclaiming the Gospel for we are at that moment "beholding the glory” of the “Word made flesh” who “Tabernacles” among us precisely in the “flesh” which He “gives for the life of the world”. John 6:51 As we behold the flesh which He gives for the life of the world we are “recognizing” the sacrificial Victim by whose death we are reconciled to the Father. The Tabernacle houses this Divine Victim of reconciliation and while one can seek to “recognize” the Presence of God in all times and spaces we must remember with the deepest attitude of gratitude the continuing Presence of Christ in the Tabernacle which far from being simply one mode of Presence among many, is the very Presence in which His Sacred Humanity is accessible to the faithful. Why should it be considered the most exalted manner of spending time in the Presence of God? The clearest and to me the most convincing reason lies in the word ‘gratitude' for the mystery of the Incarnation (God becoming Man, the Word made flesh) with its inseparable Eucharistic link to the Passion, Death and Resurrection of Christ. The Humanity of Christ was made sacred by virtue of the hypostatic union (the union of the divine nature and the human nature in the 2nd Person of the most holy Trinity whom we delight to call JESUS), a union which began by the overshadowing of the Holy Spirit in the womb of the Blessed Virgin Mary. The 2nd Person of the Trinity became a man so that He could offer as an unblemished sacrifice His life as the sacrifice which brings atonement. So when we take time to “behold” or to “recognize” in the Most Blessed Sacrament - “the sacrificial Victim” whose “glory” is the glory of the Word made flesh, we are expressing our utmost, heartfelt devotion for the unmerited gift of the sacrificial death of Jesus on the cross. So it is that in the Tabernacle ‘we behold’ or at least we are called “to recognize” that Christ is Present in the humanity in which He suffered for me and for YOU. Why would we wish as a regular occurrence to “recognize” prayerfully the Presence of God elsewhere when Christ Himself chose to “stay with us” in “love to the end” within the tiny walls of the Tabernacle?

I shudder to think

Does the Most Holy Eucharist have an objective significance, value, worth and importance or is the significance of the Most Holy Eucharist one of subjectivity? Is the Eucharist important primarily because of what "It" can accomplish within the recipient or communicant? Is the Eucharist important on account of how we benefit from "It"(Him) or would it be more in keeping with a heart animated by the Spirit of Glory to maintain that the Eucharist is important because the Eucharist is Jesus whose dignity and significance rests within Himself and not in our ability to receive Him worthily. Just as your dignity does not rest upon your surroundings so too with the Holy Eucharist because the Eucharist is not so much an "It" as it is a "Who", the very Person of Christ, the Word made flesh. Christ's worth and value are independent of us. Who among us if we had walked the roads of Galilee say around the time Christ turned 30 years old and was about to begin His public ministry would have said to Him, "Jesus, the only thing about you that really matters is how you can make me more like You"? Wouldn't this have betrayed the sense that His worth or dignity consisted in what He could do for others and not because of who He was? I shudder to think of a world in which we think and act in relation to one another based on this mentality and yet I have heard this in relation to the Eucharist. I have heard it said, that what's really important about the Eucharist is not that "It" is the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Christ but rather how "It" makes me and you more like Christ. While the fruit of Christ's Real Presence in our spiritual development is of the greatest importance, it is an importance that flows from the Dignity of the Very Person of Christ who in the Eucharist is God in the flesh. We must maintain a distinction between the Dignity and the Fruit of the Eucharist. The Dignity of the Eucharist pertains to the Incarnate Word. The Fruit of the Eucharist pertains to us?

The Eucharistic Presence of Jesus

The Second Vatican Council in addition to later magisterial writings teaches that Jesus is Present in the Priest, the Gathered Assembly, the proclaimed Word, and in the Holy Eucharist. The Church clearly teaches however that while the Presence of Christ in these four modes is a true Presence it reserves the term REAL for the Presence of Christ in the Eucharist. It also clearly teaches a point that often times seems overlooked by many nowadays regarding this REAL Presence of Christ in the Eucharist. It is this, that in the Eucharist the faithful are to give what is called Latria. Latria is a latin word which in the tradition of the Church has come to mean, 'worship or adoration that is due to God alone.' We do not give Latria to the Saints, not even to the Blessed Virgin Mary. Latria is given only to Christ. Now of the four modes of Christ's Presence in the Church as articulated by Vatican II and later Magisterial writings it is only the REAL Presence of Christ in the Most Holy Eucharist that is worthy of the worship known as Latria. Neither the Presence of Christ in the Priest, the Gathered Assembly or the proclaimed Word is afforded the worship known as Latria. This is so because while Christ is Present in the Priest, the Priest IS NOT Christ. While Christ is Present in the Gathered Assembly the Gathered Assembly IS NOT Christ. While Christ is Present in the word-proclaimed the word-proclaimed is not Christ Himself but rather Him speaking. BUT, in the Eucharist Christ is Present and the Eucharist is Christ.

Luftwaffe

A mandate of hate commanding the air, showers its shells embedding with fear, all victims of hope now victims of war. Spreading its wings and harvesting night, this mandate of hate sought to covet the sun’s light. How bitter the sheaves, that darken one’s sight, as to hail a cross that’s disfigured, disfigured by hate, in a mandate of death reaching unto the sky but reaching no further. Thanks be to the Cross of Christ that reaches into the very heart of heaven bringing forth the great commission of love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

Faith invites, Beauty excites, Love unites

Exposition is truly an action of the Holy Trinity made visible in time. This action continues in time what never ceases in eternity, namely the gaze of love, which raptures the heart of each member of the Trinity in the beauty of each other. The Trinity is One God united in Divine Beauty. Divine beauty causes the heart to become transfixed on it. As we humans engage in this activity of the Trinity we should be aware of the presence of the Father and Spirit who with us and in us are gazing upon the loveliness of Christ. Through the mutual indwelling that is always taking place among the members of the Trinity we must also be aware of the fact that not only are we pondering the beauty of Christ but the beauty of the Father and Spirit as well. Exposition in a real sense is an exchange of loving glances between God and humanity in an atmosphere of faith. The timelessness of beauty gives rise to the eternity we find in the Triune God. Through exposition of Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament of the Altar we experience a foretaste of this heavenly activity. Time loses all meaning before beauty hence the reason that the Beatific Vision occurs in the timelessness of the rapture we call eternity.

Holiness 2

Holiness is a hatred for the mediocrity in oneself and a love for the other who carries it yet.

Holiness

Holiness is the soul blushing at the sight of itself for having freely loved Him whom the soul was ordered to love by law.

Going Back; Staying the Course

Going back means slavery; staying the course means loyalty, perseverance, wisdom, discipline and love. Going back means never having enough; staying the course means freedom from a one track mind. Going back means shackles; staying the course means sharing the key to a freer tomorrow. Going back means I’m too slow to learn; staying the course says teach as you go. Going back means it feels right; staying the course means when its right it is right regardless of how it feels. Going back means Egypt; staying the course means manna and quail while awaiting the milk and honey. Going back means season finale; staying the course means season premiere. Going back means it wasn’t worth it; staying the course means the worth was in the end not in the means. Going back means ‘nothing’; staying the course means everything. Going back says live for the day; staying the course says remember which day. Going back says I can’t help it I’m weak; staying the course says grace is sufficient for your need. Going back says pleasure is immediate; staying the course says through patience you will gain your souls. Going back says just one more time; staying the course says you owe allegiance to One more Just then time. Going back says there’s no victory; staying the course says there’s none by going back. Staying the course says stay the course. Thanks be to God for forgiveness and the grace to stay the course.

The Cross

Behold the cross of autumn beauty shedding its colorful cloak upon the naked world below. What a fragrance of love arises to heaven on account of its singular condescension. How truly blessed are those so clothed for they are deemed worthy to bask in the suns ceaseless light.

The Sight

The Sight of Him, which left my heart bleeding, hath filled, in His absence, my vision with unimaginable poverty as I now gaze upon the grandeur of earth’s celebrated cloak. I see no longer any depth to the sea nor dizzying height to mountain peaks for now all that remains is created beauty when all that my heart needs is the uncreated beauty, which is Him whom my eyes have graciously seen.

No comparison

The grandeur of His creative works does not nor can it ever measure up to the splendour visited upon the eyes of those who behold Him in His essence. The works of His hands would have been completely meaningless to us if we had at first the grace of seeing Him. Having seen Him first would have blinded us to the genius of His works for the sight of Him would have left us longing for the sight of Him again

Bear fruit in keeping with repentance

Tears devoid of resolution are empty. Sentiment alone does not produce the fruit of love. Challenge your tears when they fail to challenge your hands to reach out. Challenge those tears that feed the hungry but not in practice. Challenge those tears that promise change but change nothing to keep the promise alive. Rebuke those tears that fall so easy but dry up easier when once the channel has been changed. From where doth your tears flow, the eye or heart? The answer will be found in whether your tears solidify in works of charity towards God, others, self or merely bring warmth to your cheeks. Remember our cheeks were not made for warmth but for turning so that the love of Christ could subdue the weakness of our flesh.

His Own, He Who Sent Me, Abiding as One

Behold His Own emerging from within Water and the Spirit, bearing the ‘Sent’ characteristic of the Anointed One, upon whom the Father has set His seal. Come and See how pure and of what great price is the abiding ‘Sent’ of unity with which His Own fill the Father’s House upon having celebrated the Fruit of the Vine and the Single Grain of Wheat, wherein lies the meaning of the washing of the feet.

Real life is Life beyond mere 'Accident'

A 7-month long winter and my poor soul is all icicles despairing of spring’s arrival. Hope, I’m afraid is not merely buried beneath a cloak of snow but so too is its young, who would normally brighten these days of dark cold. Frostbitten toes have greatly reduced the amount of ground I once would have covered. Each step I take it seems bears witness to the presence of black ice. The tears I choose not to cry sound like hail beating off my well-worn heart. Certainty is a sign obscured by snow squalls that intermittently prove the futility of thinking with any real purpose. I feel like a man wearing the hangman’s rope yet death evades me, as the noose is not tight enough to extinguish life, simply strong enough to keep me suspended between heaven and earth in a state resembling life. When will the sentence be lifted, the prisoner allowed to go free? Is winter to increase its share of the stock and my poor soul to find itself bought out? Only the Sundial will tell. How I wish it would tell.

Love with Sight

Miserable and alone I’ve been wandering in and out of hearts looking to find a home. I’ve performed all the pleasantries for which sick people seek and knowledge at last I have that such table etiquette was mere want of soul but knowledge like this may in fact be light but its far from food for a pang-ridden heart needs love to live not just sight. For what is sight without love but a passing glance that offers plenty from afar. Love with sight now there’s a parachute that works. Love with sight now there’s a pillow upon which to find rest. Love with sight now there’s a casket without fright because its airtight and I will live forever because the Breath of my lover is mine even there in that casket. Ah! Love with Sight.

Eagle's eye view

O foot washing Shepherd lay down Your bread,

Take it up that Temple when you rise from the dead.

Prune Your sheep gently, for we are fragile and blind.

Teach us that in You, eternal life we will find.

In the tomb 4 days already we’ve been,

We pant for the Light which in You is seen.

And to be washed in Your word is to be already clean,

For Your word is Your life upon which we lean.

And in ‘Water to Wine’ we taste fully what You mean.

Summary of John's Gospel

O Fruitful Vine, O Grain of Wheat O Living Water, What Love replete. O Servant Shepherd, Protecting Gate Siloam Incarnate, Thy Hour is Late. Show forth Your Glory, Let there be Light For believing is sunrise, To ask, “By what authority?” – Night. Communion is abiding; the New Law is love Where abiding is dying, the fruit of being born from above. As the serpent is rising the bronze pole for us to see So too will believers be drawn unto Thee. For You know in Your love, Your own to the ‘End’ By the Advocate Spirit whom by ‘betrayal’ You send. Witnesses of life we are, espoused by the Well Renouncing our pottery, Your praises to tell. We are the books that the world cannot hold Which reveal the greater works, which the Word once foretold. Amen, Amen, O Come and See, the Great I am, the Lamb is He.

A Cross-eyed Vine in love with a mixed-up world

In the garden of Slumber there stood a Cross-eyed Vine; His gaze was sorrowfully fixed upon the Vinedresser’s Hand as it held out toward Him a cup overflowing with the wine of sour grapes, the fruit of a vineyard gone bad. Gracious were the full-bodied words that He prayerfully uttered thrice with persevering spirit. Fragrant was His humble acceptance of the Chalice that weighed heavy upon a world deserving of its deathly intoxication. With thirsty onlookers vying for a taste of His passion-fruit wine this Cross-eyed Vine proceeded to shade His tender branches, for which He was willing to be thrust through. He alone at that moment was to be pressed for little branches can only bear the fruit that the Vine gives them to bear in their own well-aged time. Branches can only go where the Vine chooses to grow. Be it in sorrow or sunshine the growth that matters is the love that learns to abide in the Vinedresser’s side. The Cross-eyed Vine alone knows the way to this table of plenty where the language of love is the food that doth not perish. Now having secured the safety of those who were His own, our beloved Vine was led forth into the darkness of the high priest’s house where one would expect the light of judgment to shine. And yet in the utter darkness of that room the only light shining was the light that darkness cannot overcome. Behind the curtain of his high priestly robe he was not able to recognize the presence of the Light burning before him and from here our beloved Vine was led out to be covered for the night in a chamber as if hidden beneath a bushel basket. In the morning’s youth the fruitfulness of the Vine was beginning to peak because His hour to be pressed was now at hand and despite attempts to sway His Cross-eyed truth in favor of personal safety our beloved Vine affirmed the safety of His branches to the End by willingly divesting Himself of His ‘stone rejected by the builders’ – wine, which has now become the celebrated Passover blood from which the New Vineyard has its life and in which it will always draw its life. The fruit of the Vine IS the fruit of the branches and without it there is no fruitfulness at all. The Love that sparkles therefore is the love that abides, and to abide is to lay down one’s wine for one’s friends. This is the Vinedresser’s design. Hence the Table of plenty wherein the language of love is the food that doth not perish. Our beloved Vine, with heartfelt gratitude we thank You for shedding Your wine so that in the fruitfulness of ‘love to the end’ we can call the Vinedresser – Daddy Abba, and be Your beloved Friend. Amen

The Woman at the Well

A Thirsty Lamb, Eternal Life

A betrothing well, Hosea’s wife

Her forgotten tears buried in shame,

Are brought to the surface by the Light of His Name.

No more, her burning thirst to slake,

Is a ‘water pot’ that gives no more than it can take.

For behold, ‘Living Water’ gushing forth in the Hour the Lamb awaits,

The promise of Cana, the glory of which, is the New Wine that sates.

In freedom now, Gomer may go, the Nuptial mystery of New Worship to show,

For those who were not My People, a ‘door of hope’ will surely know,

For when the hyssop with sour grape, is raised, My lips to taste,

Such as the Father seeks, will be brought to birth in haste.

No one takes My life from Me, not even your sins. I love you.

What was the cause of Jesus’ death? By this question I do not mean crucifixion or the loss of blood brought about by His scourging. What I am asking is where lies the responsibility for His death? People at different times and with varying degrees of animosity have pointed to the Jews as a whole as deserving to bear the sole responsibility for the death of Jesus hence the defamatory acclamation often levelled against them, ‘Christ-killers’. Though traditionally reference to the Jews meant for a number of people all of the Jews a more sober and realistic awareness acknowledges a specific few who in their antagonism toward Jesus sought for His ‘execution.’ Others have shifted the blame to the shoulders of Pilate and hence the Roman soldiers who beyond the shadow of a doubt did in fact carry out the order to ‘execute’ by crucifixion Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews as the charge above His head attested. There are others who would have us point to Judas Iscariot for after all it was Judas who betrayed Jesus to the Jewish authorities. Then we have those whose consciousness of their own sinfulness have ascribed to their sins responsibility for the death of Jesus. There are however those who would point to a collective culpability involving all of the above. While there is substantial truth in this latter recognition regarding collective responsibility ranging from those who had a part to play in how the actual events unfolded to the sins of people from every time and space there is yet one major consideration to be pondered in answering the question at hand. We may readily admit the truth of this consideration but too often with a contemptuous familiarity, as is often the case with simple answers. While it may be evident in the Synoptic Gospels (Matthew, Mark and Luke) it is abundantly clear in the Gospel of John. The Jesus that we encounter in John’s Gospel is the ‘Jesus’ over whom no one exercises any authority whatsoever without it having been given from ‘above’ or in other words from God Himself. Throughout John’s Gospel Jesus as the Word of God who in fact is God in the flesh shows us time after time His foreknowledge of people, places and events. He is never caught off guard. He knows from the outset of His public ministry the reality of His ‘hour’ which looms over Him at every moment and which paradoxically He considers His glorification. Jesus knows who it is who will betray Him, whom He still chooses in mercy to be numbered among the twelve. In the Good Shepherd discourse we find the definitive answer for which we have been looking, “No one takes My life from Me. I lay it down freely and freely do I take it up again.” Herein lies the entire mystery of the death of Christ. Jesus Himself is responsible for His death, not to be understood as suicide but rather as sacrifice. No one has power over Him and this includes Judas, the Jewish authorities whether they be Pharisees or Sadducees, Herod, Pilate and his Roman soldiers or even our filthy, disgusting sins. It is Jesus who is ultimately responsible for His death. Yes, our sins are the condition for the death of Jesus just as the Roman soldiers are in fact the ones who held the hammer and the nails to His hands and feet but it was Jesus Himself who freely laid down His life. If we do not allow this humble truth to penetrate our reflection upon the death of Christ then we shall surely fail in appreciating its true transforming depth. Consider this, if we say Jesus died because of Pilate and the Roman soldiers then we are reducing His death to a mere ‘execution’ as opposed to a Holy Sacrifice. If we say, Jesus died because of the jealousy or antagonism of some of the Jewish leaders then we are reducing His death to One who is the victim of circumstances. If we say, Jesus died because of the betrayal of Judas, then we are reducing His death once again to circumstantial victimhood. Even if we say that Jesus died because of our sins then we are reducing His death to act of necessity, which in fact robs His death of the quality of love that the Last Supper calls ‘love to the end’. If Jesus had to die for our sins then where was His freedom and hence where was His love. Only in freedom can love truly radiate. So it is that the death of Jesus is not a mere execution, but rather a Holy Sacrifice, it is not merely the result of a power struggle but rather the fullest display of power, it is not merely the victimhood born of circumstances, but rather the love that reveals a victimhood that does not respond in kind to the evils inflicted upon it. His death is not an expression of necessity but rather an expression of true freedom. As the true Passover Lamb Jesus is not a mindless animal led off to the slaughter but rather the Divine Word who freely lays down His life that by believing in and gnawing upon His Flesh and Blood the lintels of our souls may be passed over now and into eternity. In John’s Gospel the Greek word for ‘to betray’ is used with 4 different subjects. The first to betray as we know is Judas who betrays Jesus into the hands of the Jewish authorities. The Jewish authorities in turn betray Jesus into the hands of Pilate who betrays Jesus into the hands of those, presumably the soldiers who would be responsible for carrying out His crucifixion. But here comes the most intriguing aspect of the use of the word betray in John’s Gospel. Jesus Himself is spoken of as betraying from the Cross, in His hour of death His own Spirit. Though Jesus is the common denominator to all of these betrayals His own choice of betrayal is significant for He does not betray in kind. Despite how He is treated the power of His love is shown forth in His forgiveness as He ‘gives over’ His Spirit who will be the very One responsible for bringing out new life in those who believe in the name of Jesus thereby becoming children of God. As Dr. Scott Hahn has pointed out, ‘if the Last Supper was only a meal as opposed to a Sacrifice then the death of Christ on the Cross was only an execution. For who upon leaving Calvary that day would have said to others at home that they had just from a sacrifice. Rather they would have said that they were returning from a Roman execution. But what made the death of Jesus on the Cross more then a mere run of the mill Roman execution was that He freely laid down His life in the upper room where at the Last Supper He spoke the words of consecration over the gifts of bread and wine thereby making present sacramentally the Mystery of His sacrificial death spoken of in the Bread of Life discourse.” To sum it all up as regards what was the cause of the death of Christ we can look to St. Paul who says, “Christ shows His love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us.” His death was conditioned by many circumstances one of which was our sins but not even our sins would have any authority over Him unless it were given it from above. Christ freely laid down His life for us on the Cross and freely did He take it up again. The mystery of this love is what the Church calls the Eucharist, the home of which is the Mass – the Sacrifice that makes the crucifixion more than a mere execution but in truth the Real Day of Atonement wherein Christ our Passover Lamb is Sacrificed.

The Freedom of Victimhood

Behold the Victim’s hands raised in Truth-rendered-fruitful. Behold a crime robbed of its sting by an act of love selflessly free. For indeed no one can take from us what we have freely chosen to give. It is freedom that gives what can never really be taken. What we fear losing we must freely surrender and in Truth-rendered-fruitful we will never suffer its loss for it will be ours always if we will only receive it back with a victim’s hand. What must we learn to surrender such that what is taken from us will do us no harm. Behold here lies true freedom. When forced to walk one mile, walking the extra mile proves the freedom of the one forced and the bondage of the one forcing. Behold the freedom that transforms the world by changing murder into sacrifice, bread and wine into flesh and blood. Behold the Victim’s hands raised in Truth-rendered-fruitful.