My ever growing awareness of my mortality is giving birth within me to a more profound sense of the fact that I am borrowed breath, willed into existence not of my own will. I am because He said so and He spoke not in vain. The mystery of my existence is a mystery not without its admirer and my inevitable death serves to remind me of this. I have been created not for dust and ashes but for a crown and robes which wither not amidst the suns heat nor the oceans fury for I have been begotten by Love and this Love knows my name. My first breath and my last will have had this in common, both will have been joyfully willed by Him alone for whom I have been created.
I am entirely His. He willed it so. I belong nowhere else save for in His embrace. It was Him alone who desired me and though others may love me they merely love the work of His hands but He loved me into existence and into the possibility of being loved. It was Him who conceived the very thought of me and this not simply in His Divine Mind but also in His Sacred Heart but what pleases me so greatly as I reflect upon this is that He was the first to be pleased with what He thought and made good on it by an irrevocable act of His will. The very Triune God who has no beginning or end created me in loving freedom without any reservations.
Was it by chance that the thought of me entered the Mind and Heart of God? No! The thought of me arose not by chance but by Romance. It pleased God to create me. I had absolutely no say in it. I had no way of influencing His decision. I couldn't even say, 'You thought about me, now You owe it to me to create me.' My existence is a complete expression of the freedom of His love. My God, I am forever indebted to You and yet the only debt You ask me to pay is that of loving You freely in return. You created me not simply to exist but so that You may love me. Reflection upon my coming death reminds me of this. These thoughts also inspire within me the knowledge that I have never been so well loved or with such constancy as I have been by You. You are my Secret Admirer and with tears in my eyes I thank You, “Father, Son and Holy Spirit.”
How I wish my words could possibly do justice to the profound realization that the knowledge of Your love fills me with at this moment regarding my existence. You, O Sovereign Lord, had no template to look at in creating me save for the Image of Your Incarnate Son. I am fully the result of Love's creative-genius. I have been created solely for You, help me now to begin living as such.
No comments:
Post a Comment